Recently I have been struggling more than usual, and I have seen news reports about all these suicides, and it’s painful to watch. My depression right now is starting to take control and I am just trying to keep it together, so seeing all these people killing themselves is heart-breaking and I can’t even imagine being in that place again. I really just wanted to try and help others see what, now, I can finally see. When my brother attempted it, I thought it was selfish and I was angry with him. I didn’t understand how depression could do that, I thought he just cared even less about us than before. I’m sorry I ever blamed him because now, I finally see what I never could before.
Depression is unbelievable in what it can do to you. The life is sucked out of you and those thoughts in your head that told you people love you and everything will be okay, change. You feel alone, like the sun will never shine again, no one cares about you, “you’re stupid, etc.” repeat over and over. It makes you hate yourself, until sometimes this feels like it is the only way out. Suicide isn’t selfish, it’s misunderstood. Depression is like living abused, hated, neglected, with no one who cared or understood; Would you go on living like that with no change in sight?
A mom recently committed suicide and someone decided to make a comment. The comment was ‘How could someone do that to their kids? I have clinical depression and I haven’t done that.’ This is infuriating! How could you say something like that if you struggled with it yourself?!? Suicide isn’t someone trying to hurt others, it is just part of the outcome. It’s all heartbreaking, for the kids, for the husband and for the mom. She was in pain, that’s why she did it.
My advice if you know someone struggling and they seem to be getting worse, just let them know you’re there. If they start saying things or doing things that suggest they might try and hurt themselves, tell someone. If you are struggling with it and feel it’s just getting worse, let a parent know. If you feel like you are going to kill yourself, tell your parents you need help right away or call here.
You are not alone, no matter how much it feels like you are. Please try and remember that if you know someone who committed suicide, they didn’t mean to hurt you, that wasn’t a goal for them. Suicide is misunderstood because some people just don’t understand what it’s like and it’s really hard to understand when you have never dealt with it before. I also wanted to add a song I love to listen to when I feel depressed.Tomorrow is gonna be better by Joshua Radin