Suicide

Recently I have been struggling more than usual, and I have seen news reports about all these suicides, and it’s painful to watch. My depression right now is starting to take control and I am just trying to keep it together, so seeing all these people killing themselves is heart-breaking and I can’t even imagine being in that place again. I really just wanted to try and help others see what, now, I can finally see. When my brother attempted it, I thought it was selfish and I was angry with him. I didn’t understand how depression could do that, I thought he just cared even less about us than before. I’m sorry I ever blamed him because now, I finally see what I never could before.

Depression is unbelievable in what it can do to you. The life is sucked out of you and those thoughts in your head that told you people love you and everything will be okay, change. You feel alone, like the sun will never shine again, no one cares about you, “you’re stupid, etc.” repeat over and over. It makes you hate yourself, until sometimes this feels like it is the only way out. Suicide isn’t selfish, it’s misunderstood. Depression is like living abused, hated, neglected, with no one who cared or understood; Would you go on living like that with no change in sight?

A mom recently committed suicide and someone decided to make a comment. The comment was ‘How could someone do that to their kids? I have clinical depression and I haven’t done that.’ This is infuriating! How could you say something like that if you struggled with it yourself?!? Suicide isn’t someone trying to hurt others, it is just part of the outcome. It’s all heartbreaking, for the kids, for the husband and for the mom. She was in pain, that’s why she did it. 

My advice if you know someone struggling and they seem to be getting worse, just let them know you’re there. If they start saying things or doing things that suggest they might try and hurt themselves, tell someone. If you are struggling with it and feel it’s just getting worse, let a parent know. If you feel like you are going to kill yourself, tell your parents you need help right away or call here. 

You are not alone, no matter how much it feels like you are. Please try and remember that if you know someone who committed suicide, they didn’t mean to hurt you, that wasn’t a goal for them. Suicide is misunderstood because some people just don’t understand what it’s like and it’s really hard to understand when you have never dealt with it before. I also wanted to add a song I love to listen to when I feel depressed.Tomorrow is gonna be better by Joshua Radin 

~~Noelle

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2 thoughts on “Suicide

  1. Beautiful words ♡ I have struggled with this my whole life and still do even at 40. I have lost many lover ones to this throughout my life. It is so sad and so misunderstood. I have been in that dark place about 5 years back when I was severely physically I’ll on top of mentally. My kids kept me going until then. I felt like they would be better off without me. That I was a burden. I was so wrong, but the thoughts wouldn’t stop. Thank god I was able to get help to crawl out of the darkness. I lost my job and my husband from the illness. I thought I would not ever see the light. It took love, support and god to pull me out of this place. Lots of praying by other people and me reaching out to them. Now I am healthy, I still struggle, but I came out stronger than ever. There is hope. People need to understand this illness and not judge. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I know that someone out there needs to hear these words and know that no matter how far down, no matter how dark it seems, even when you can’t even get a glimpse of the light, it is there. We all need to reach out to each other and not hide in the darkness. Help others get through as well. It is so worth fighting for ♡

    • Thank you so much for reading! Thank you for sharing too! I’m so happy that you are out of that dark place, and I hope you never go back to that place. Thank you so much! ❤

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